It's a holiday weekend. Are you feeling festive?

It’s a holiday weekend, are you feeling festive?

OR

Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself to feel festive when perhaps you actually feel somewhat worn down or even apathetic? 

Do you have trouble enjoying things? Does it feel like a big effort?

This is true for a lot of nurses. Some don’t struggle with enjoying things but feel like they can be derailed at any moment; one snarky comment from a loved one or stressful newsreel away from having the enjoyment come to a screeching halt. 

Does this sound familiar? 

It can be difficult to deal with the duality of life when we just want to take a break and enjoy ourselves. We want the good times to just be good; this would make everything much easier.

We don’t want to be grouchy or reactive, stressed or detached. This isn’t what we would pick if given the option.

So why do we find ourselves in this situation and more importantly, how can we make it less painful?

The answer is three-fold.  First, the work we do is hard, and like any normal human being, we need to restore ourselves from the hard work. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when transitioning from work, which takes energy, to participating in festivities, which takes energy. The key here is to withhold judgment from yourself if you feel like you fit in this category.

Second, as nurses, we are hyper-vigilant. We are trained to and pride ourselves on the ability to look for nuances, spot problems before they escalate, think critically and always be thinking one step ahead for what could go wrong before it does. This is a super skill…at work. But it becomes so second nature that it can bleed into our time outside of work, the time we are trying to rest and restore. It doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us good nurses, good nurses who need to learn the signs of this sneaking into our restoration time and course correct.

Third, remembering the natural duality of life can help us. Work is not all bad. In our hearts we know this to be true. For every really challenging experience we have, we are helping someone, someone with a family, with a social network, with a soul. With every hard thing we do we can impact someone’s life for the better. We know this to be true, or we wouldn’t keep doing the work. The bad doesn’t negate the good.

But the duality is true at home, and on holidays, as well. No matter how great everything is, there will be times of struggle and stress, times that everything is going great and then it feels like the fun is ripped away. We just need to remind ourselves that here too, the bad doesn’t negate the good. We can take a few deep breaths, recalibrate and reassure ourselves that nothing has gone wrong here. Just by accepting that duality is normal, we will find ourselves much less reactive.

For many, this may be the first time you are ever thinking about this in this context. With awareness can come resilience. Instead of being disheartened, see how you are unintentionally misapplying your skills as a nurse to your times of rest and enjoyment at home. Smile and give yourself some understanding. 

And then from there, remind yourself that just like at work, everything doesn’t have to go perfectly to have a good day. The same is true for holidays, not everyone has to cooperate to still experience overall enjoyment. If only some of the day is going to go well, start training yourself to look for the things that ARE enjoyable (and don’t judge yourself for the negative things being obvious- we are trained to look for those already). Today, I am up early, in a quiet house with a cup of coffee, writing to you. I am sure that the rest of the day will bring challenges, but this moment is lovely. Restore yourself in little windows of enjoyment, little pieces of a holiday weekend. 

          And don’t kill your spouse when you are packing up the car.

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If you are getting through your workday but finding yourself so exhausted and emotionally spend that you struggle to find enjoyment in the rest of your life, reach out and let's schedule a time for a free consultation. This doesn't have to be 'just how it is' for the rest of your life. You can have your cake and eat it too :)

I am a quick email away- Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com. We will find a time that works for you.