Embracing Self-Compassion: Supporting Yourself While Carrying Others' Burdens

When was the last time someone you loved was suffering, when your heart was full of compassion but heavy in your chest?

And yet, you still have to go to work, do a good job, and maintain all the other things in your life  while carrying around this weight. 

It’s exhausting, so much so that maybe some things slip by the wayside. Procrastination sets up residence in your brain, preventing you from taking on anything else, protecting you from any further energy expenditure. 

And then you scold yourself for not “keeping up on everything”. Everything starts to feel like too much.

It happens. It is the way life works: some periods are great and some are very very difficult. 

If you were watching a friend go through the same, you would offer to help. You would take something off their plate, you would reassure them that it’s ok to not keep up on everything, you would find ways to try and make them feel better, to allow them a little rest.

You know how to do this, you know as a nurse that the little strategies that ease suffering and calm the nervous system are incredibly important to healing and resilience. 

So…

If you are dealing with something heavy in your life (or if you want to practice for when you inevitably will be), try this.

Observe what you are dealing with as you would observe someone else. If need be, narrate the story of what you are dealing with in the third person.

Ie: Megan is having a really tough day. She is really worried about ____________ and feels like she can’t keep up with everything. I really want to help her get through this, she needs my support. If I could help her, this is what I would do…

You may think this sounds silly. It DOES sound silly. BUT, by doing this you can create self-compassion and experience empathy in the same way you would for a patient or friend. From here, you can actually come up with ways to support yourself and make yourself feel better. 

It will change your inner dialog, the critic will be silenced.

It will help you gain perspective and let go of things that may not be important for right now.

It will allow you to feel supported by the person you most need support from, yourself.

It will allow you to prioritize rest, movement, and connection.

Suffering will always be a part of our lives, learning to support yourself through it is life changing.

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Wishing you a speedy passage through whatever suffering you may be experiencing. I am here to support you if you need some extra help. Reach out at Megan@NursingBeyondTheJob.com and we can set up a time for a consultation. You don’t need to do this alone.