Thriving in Nursing Without Changing the Job

I have worked in the field of pain management for the last 25 years. Throughout this time, I have seen how pain can impact a patient, not just physically but emotionally, socially and functionally.

What often starts as an unexpected illness or injury can turn into a lifelong struggle.

Of course, there are those who suffer an event and recover completely. This is a best case scenario, both for the patient and the provider. It makes sense that pain would accompany an injury and then resolve as the body heals. This is what most people expect. 

Unfortunately this is not always the case, either because the body cannot heal or, despite the injury resolving, the pain persists due to neuroplastic changes. 

So what about those who are facing continued pain and hardship? Can they have a good/happy/fulfilling life despite chronic pain and the loss of roles that have been a major part of their identity?

Anyone who works in healthcare would answer yes to this question. We know that the state of someone’s circumstances or health does not have to dictate their happiness.

With support, our patients suffering with chronic pain can develop amazing stress tolerance. What may be perceived as unbearable in the first month or two of pain is only background noise by year 5. Those who thrive despite chronic pain learn to push the limits of their literal comfort zone. They learn to create meaning in hardship, look for humor and find creative ways to deal with the uncomfortable physical and emotional sensations that are part of their daily lives. 

They learn acceptance AND fortitude.

It’s not always easy. They search for new approaches, they deal with disappointment when another door closes, they may lose relationships along the way and have to build new relationships that are supportive. 

Patients with chronic pain need to identify and support their own needs- even if this looks different than what they anticipated. 

The longer I am in this field, the more I see how these same skills are the ones required to thrive in a career that is fraught with human suffering, physically demanding days, and navigation of coworkers who are also struggling. Developing stress tolerance can help us also move from overwhelm to expansive ability. 

Think back to your first clinical rotation when you worked your way up from 1 patient to 2. It was horrifying. How would you do it all???

Then think of your first job- I worked evenings on an ortho/surgical floor and would have 9-11 patients on any given shift (not that it was safe per se, it’s just what it was).

We have the capability to develop stress tolerance, it is not dissimilar to learning the skills needed to transition from 2 patients to 11. We just haven’t been told it is a learnable skill, a skill that can turn our daily suffering into background noise. We just assume we should be able to handle it.

Would we expect a patient with a new injury to know how to deal with chronic pain for the rest of their life? Of course not, why should they know this if they were never taught how to do it?

So how DO we develop stress tolerance?

First, we have to believe that we can. Can you think back to other things in your life that you didn’t think you could handle and somehow you did? Are you willing to accept that building stress tolerance at work is something that you can be responsible for and something that may take some intentional effort? If you are holding onto the idea that we should somehow just be “ok” or “strong enough” I would gently suggest that you try and just let that idea float away. 

You may have a lot of defendable reasons why work shouldn’t be the way it is, how situations are bad, toxic, or unfair. This may be true but it does not have to be codependent with your happiness.

Chronic pain is unfair. Chronic pain can feel toxic to all you hold dear.

Staying in these true statements holds patients back from living a good life despite pain.

If they can find other truths, are you willing to as well? 

What are some of the ways we can develop psychological flexibility? The good news is that people have already studied this, and we don’t have to figure out what works. There are many but I thought I would start with just 4.

1. Meaning-making: What is the meaning behind what you do? How is the work itself meaningful, not only for the patient but for your identity and values? How can you remind yourself of this during the day? (I am not above putting a sticky note on my computer to remind myself: I can help someone today OR everyone deserves care.)

   
   

2. Social exploration: Can you lean in and not out? Can you make a point of learning something new about a coworker or a patient? Can you listen solely for the purpose of connection and not to say anything about yourself? Can you approach a difficult coworker with curiosity instead of judgement?

   
   

3. Humor: We all know the benefit of humor. It has to start with taking ourselves a little less seriously. Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean we can’t laugh. One doesn’t have to negate the other. How can you add humor to your day? Can you ask yourself this every morning? It will get the creative juices flowing.

   
   

4. Creativity: Creativity is a way of expanding our comfort zone (which is what stress tolerance is all about). Can you do something creative every day? Can you learn something new? This can be anything from academic achievement to cooking a new recipe to trying something new to help a patient. It may be creatively figuring out how to get in 10k steps or brainstorming solutions to a problem at work. Creativity of thought is one of the most powerful tools that my patients with pain can employ. 

   
   

We don’t have to have work be less painful to have a good and happy life. It’s ok if we sometimes feel overwhelmed, these strategies aren’t going to turn work into rainbows and daisies, they are just going to make us ok, no matter what it looks like.

Isn’t that great news? I don’t want a different job, I want to love the job I’m in.

And I do 🙂.

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Does this sound too good to be true? Are you struggling and don’t know how you can be happy if things at work don’t change? Please reach out and let’s set up a time to connect, I have been in this exact position and I am happily on the other side of it. I don’t want any nurse to stay in the space of suffering- you are too important.

Email me at Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com and we will find a time that works for you to explore how working together can help you through the exact situation you are faced with now. The best part is once you learn the skills (which anyone can do) you can keep applying them to the new situations in your life that come up. Don’t let the pain of nursing be a chronic condition- reach out today.