Burnout Isn’t Just About Workload—It’s About Freedom

“One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things.” — Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

How does this quote make you feel?

The first word that struck me was freedom. So much of our unhappiness at work stems from a perceived lack of it. We are told who our patients are, how many patients we can handle, which protocols must be followed, and who we have to work with. We’re expected to absorb frustration—and sometimes abuse—from patients with grace and professionalism. Our documentation systems are chosen for us, and above all: don’t clock out late.

Thankfully, if someone asked what we do professionally, this wouldn’t be the summary we’d give. We’d talk about patient care, the moments of connection, and the specialties we’ve embraced.

And yet, beneath the surface, many nurses struggle with dissatisfaction—a dread of waking up early to do it all over again. That can feel confusing. If we chose nursing in the first place, why the dread?

Much of it lies in the unspoken but ever-present belief shaped by everything listed above. The common thread is a lack of freedom. When we feel trapped, it’s natural to feel threatened, defensive, and overwhelmed.

Most of us wouldn’t articulate it quite this way. Instead, it shows up in familiar phrases:

• What do they expect me to do? I have too many patients.

• I’d be fine if my coworker would do her job—or stay out of mine.

• Administration doesn’t know how things really work. If they did, they wouldn’t expect this.

• People should show up on time. I shouldn’t have to accommodate their lateness.

This doesn’t make us bad people—it makes us human. And of course, we know that some kind of system has to exist, or we couldn’t care for anyone at all.

So the question becomes: how transformative would it be if we could be in the same situation and not feel this way? What if we could maintain a sense of freedom and autonomy despite a system that is difficult—or even flawed?

This is what Mackesy is pointing to: freedom despite the situation, despite the hardship.

Sounds great. So we just need to control how we react… If you’re anything like me, the optimism bus you just boarded came to a screeching halt.

Control our reactions? Doesn’t that sound like an oxymoron? Aren’t reactions automatic—unconscious, immediate?

That may be true in chemistry, where a reaction is when two things interact and cause a  chemical change. It may be true when a patient experiences an adverse drug reaction. But what about our emotional reactions—the ones that may come with a racing heart, sweating, or GI distress?

What if they aren’t automatic at all—just well-practiced?

What if we actually do have some agency?

If reactions are learned responses, can we begin to change them by practicing something different? Even if one reaction comes faster, it doesn’t mean we can’t engage another—practice another—choose another.

So how do we do this?

First, we pause and notice the reaction we’re having: the default, uncomfortable emotional response. The good news is that most of us already do this. We don’t fly off the handle all day at work—we’ve spent years pausing and then suppressing emotion, only to feel bad about it later or vent to coworkers. Let’s keep the pause and find an alternative to suppression or rallying the troops.

When we pause, the internal dialogue usually begins with: This shouldn’t be happening. This isn’t right. I have no control.

This is the opportunity. This is where freedom lives.

Start here:

• Notice that you’re feeling defensive or out of control.

• Offer yourself compassion. This is crucial. If we judge our reaction, negativity simply turns inward—and that’s counterproductive.

Then, try choosing a new narrative about them:

• Of course administration doesn’t understand the details of the job. They’re not out to get me; they have their own pressures and priorities.

• This patient is upset. I can understand why they would feel this way. I can hold boundaries and still care for them with compassion.

And a new narrative about you:

• I can take a few breaths, calm myself, and figure this out.

• My initial response was a learned, anxious reaction. I can manage this.

• This work matters, and I can care for people even in difficult circumstances.

You aren’t bad if you don’t choose to do this.

This isn’t about good or bad. It’s about intentionally choosing to feel better at work. It’s about resolving the tension between loving nursing and dreading the job.

Maybe just think about it.

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If this resonates—if you love nursing but feel stuck, reactive, or exhausted—you don’t have to figure this out alone.This is the kind of work I do in 1:1 coaching: helping nurses reconnect with a sense of agency, regulate their reactions, and feel better inside the same external system.

If you’re curious about what that could look like for you, I’d love to talk.You can reach out to me directly at Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com