Who is the nicest person you know? Not the most philanthropic or the person who loves you the most but the NICEST?
I was out with a friend last week and I complimented her shirt. In a somewhat hysterical turn of events, she asked me if I wanted it.
Who does that?
A ridiculously nice person, that’s who.
Now, as it turns out, she had somehow bought 2 of the same shirt and was not actually offering me the shirt off her back but, in the moment, I 100% thought that’s what she was suggesting. You would too if you knew her. And, of course, I harassed her that her niceness had gone too far.
I am blessed to have her in my life. She is always kind to me, always patient and generous, always there to listen when I am having a meltdown and support me instead of judging me. She puts up with my shenanigans and still remains my friend.
So who do you know who is super nice? Can you think of someone? Can you imagine someone?
And now for the real question: did you consider putting yourself in the running for the person who is nicest to you?
I was thinking about this alot this week. There are countless articles on self love, especially in the body positivity world, but that’s not really what I am talking about. I am talking about being NICE to ourselves.
And being nice isn’t just the absence of being mean.
Are you nice to yourself when you are scheduling your week?
Are you nice to yourself when you are planning your food?
Are you nice to yourself when your day at work didn’t go as planned?
What about when you don’t get done all the things you wanted to? Are you nice to yourself then or do you give yourself a mental beat down?
Do you wield the sword of SHOULD against yourself?
-I should have done more.
-I shouldn’t let her get to me.
-I should eat better
-I should be able to get 100 things done and not be exhausted.
This is a sneaky yet deadly approach. Deadly to all the things you want to do and accomplish.
Let me explain.
When you give yourself a beat down for what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do, your body internalizes this the same way it would external criticism. It processes the experience as dangerous and bad. This in turn leads to fear and fear leads to resistance to doing the exact thing that we wanted to do in the first place.
Basically, we inadvertently create an uphill battle for ourselves. We make it harder to achieve what we want even if what we want is just feeling good at the end of the day. Fear of how we are going to treat ourselves keeps us stuck.
So what would it look like if we could be that nice person, if we could be nice to ourselves?
Being nice would mean cutting yourself some slack.
Being nice would mean giving yourself some time and understanding while you are figuring some things out. It would mean being ok with the messy middle. It would mean understanding that while we may have great expectations for ourselves, there are going to be some mishaps along the way. And that’s ok.
So as you are looking at what you are planning this weekend or for the upcoming week, ask yourself, what can I do to be nice to myself this week?
How can I plan my life in a way that is nice? We are often so busy with tasks on our to-do list that we don’t even consider this.
How am I going to show up for myself the way my friend Erin would show up for me?
How can I give myself the shirt off my back, without hesitation or second thoughts?
I know you are great at it, it’s just time to redirect some of it back towards you.
Need some help figuring out how to be kind to yourself? I can help you with that :)
Schedule a call here.