This week I decided to look for positive signs. It’s funny sometimes how these things come to be and how they work out. Up until now, I haven’t really been a “signs” type of person, definitely not superstitious, definitely a believer that we can have a tremendous impact in our own lives.
But this weekend, while feeling more than a little stressed, I pulled out the set of “Letting go” cards that I had been given by my coach. I felt I could use some “letting go” energy as I was feeling super wound up. Maybe you have felt that way once or twice, that feeling of being on edge, your chest tight, your heart racing.
Anyway, I take the top card off the deck and read it
When the negative blocks and “I can’ts” are removed,
whole new areas of life open up to us.
The back of the card read
“Success stems from doing what we like to do best,
but most people are tied down to what they imagine they have to do.
As limitations are relinquished,
whole new avenues of creativity and expression become available.”
I felt oddly better, like maybe there were multiple ways to achieve what I want to achieve, like maybe it can be fun and creative. Maybe I was on the right track, I just had to keep challenging limiting beliefs.
Maybe stress wasn’t the only option.
And then yesterday came along. To brace myself for the busy day ahead, I ditched my usual morning podcast for Mel Robbins. When you need some sciency motivation, Mel’s the girl.
Ironically, she was talking about synchronicity (defined by Carl Jung as the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.) The idea was to look for unrelated things to align in your life for a purpose: to see things that other people may consider a coincidence as signs that you are going in the right direction, that things will work out. Mel went on further to suggest stating an intention (for the signs to align with) and getting yourself into the energy of it being achieved.
Don’t worry, she was still going off a scientific study published in Frontiers in Psychology (citation below).
It struck me as I was listening that that’s kind of what I was doing when I decided to pick a card from the “Letting go” deck. I was trying to use a random card to give meaning to my anxiety. I was trying to change my mind from seeing a problem to seeing that everything was going to be ok. Admittedly this seems a little woo woo until you realize that mental restructuring is also the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy (and most coaching).
My crazy day went as expected, but I kept thinking about that card, searching for what the meaning in my life would be. What negative blocks was I allowing in? What was I telling myself “I can’t” about during the day?
I confess that I may have said once or twice “I can’t take one more message or refill one more prescription.” Not the most motivating way to get through a day.
Despite this, it was an intriguing distraction to think about the card and synchronicity during work.
As I left I thought, maybe I can stop at TJ MAXX and find the shoes my daughter needs on sale. Maybe I can align myself with THAT. I set the intention and got into the energy of finding her the perfect shoes.
Sadly my super powers did not extend to finding her shoes (sigh). She really needs shoes and I really don’t love stopping to run errands after a tremendously busy day at work.
BUT
I did find amazing comfortable shoes for myself in one of my truly favorite brands for 50% off. Now if we are going to buy into this idea of synchronicity I could think,
coming into TJ MAXX for my daughter was meant to be
because I was supposed to find these shoes.
Full disclosure, as I was walking to the register I was rolling my eyes at myself. I was taking this whole thing a little too far, if I wanted to buy shoes I didn’t need to justify it with a magical manifestation story, I could just buy them. Then I passed the journals (I always stop to look at fancy notebooks). The one on top said “even the galaxy is on your side”.
Boom.
I bought the shoes and stopped rolling my eyes.
So why am I telling you all of this? Have I lost my mind? Not any more so today than any other day. Although this search for synchronicity and intention setting has really amused me for the last few days, it isn’t something I would have thought to share.
Until I decided to pick up the box of cards again today, my card from Sunday still sitting on the top. This time I thought, “real card users shuffle the deck and pick one, they don’t just take whatever is on top.” (Don’t ask me what a “real card user” is.)
I shuffled the deck.
I picked the same exact card.
When the negative blocks and “I can’ts” are removed,
whole new areas of life open up to us.
Maybe the “I can’t” was the “I can’t write about synchronicity and manifestation.”
Maybe the “I can’t” was the “I can’t feel better by picking a card or getting messages from notebooks at TJ MAXX.”
But then I realized. This is all just another creative approach to the same problem. We see the negative all the time, we don’t need to look for it. Our brains are primed and ready to look for the negative. We make up negative stories and scenarios constantly by default and never think twice about it being a ridiculous way to live life.
So why don’t we try doing the same thing but looking for the positive? Why don’t we search for meaning in the little things. Why don’t we practice expecting everything to turn out fine? Why don’t we look for signs that we are supported and capable of having great things.
Instead of assuming that we are one step away from catastrophe, why don’t we look for evidence that we are one step away from our next big win?
Either way our brain is making up stories based on very little, if any, evidence. Even the study showed that searching for meaning in unrelated events and being open to synchronicity lead to more optimism and consequently greater life satisfaction.
Yes it sounds ridiculous.
Yes it got me through a difficult week.
Yes it got me a great pair of shoes.
Are you willing to try something ridiculous on the off chance that it may help you too?
It’s really quite fun.
And you stopped scrolling to read this. That’s obviously a sign that you were meant to see this today, that this is the strategy that may just get you out of a funk.
Let me know how it goes. I can’t wait to hear about it.
It's April! This means that next week is the next time to be a part of my Community Coaching for Nurses. Next Thursday April 11th at 7pm on zoom, join me and see what this "feeling better in the life you have" is all about. If you have questions, reach out at Megan@NursingBeyondTheJob.com and if your ready to just see for yourself, register here.
Want to read the study yourself?
Russo-Netzer P and Icekson T (2023) An underexplored pathway to life satisfaction: The development and validation of the synchronicity awareness and meaning-detecting scale. Front. Psychol. 13:1053296. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1053296