In Nursing and Life: Lack of Belief ≠ Lack of Possibility

When things are really bad, it’s hard to imagine a positive outcome, hard to see beyond the reality of the present moment. Our patients experience this when faced with acute illnesses, injuries, or progressive degenerative and chronic conditions. This isn’t isolated to the physical suffering of the patient; it extends to the family watching their loved ones faced with uncertainty and fear. 

We know this and embrace it as part of the holistic care of the patient. We have witnessed first-hand amazing recoveries, required much effort and time, as well as the peaceful acceptance of very difficult situations and unfavorable health outcomes. We have seen patients re-create themselves in ways they never dreamed possible when their previous roles were lost to them.

We have rock solid belief in the ability to heal and overcome, despite all odds. We have rock solid belief in the capability to be mentally ok despite terrible physical adversity. 

It’s what allows us to keep showing up, day in and day out.

We don’t expect our patients to be able to see it. They don’t have the breadth of experience that we do. 

We understand that they are fearful, that they are faced with things they could not anticipate. We understand that they don’t yet have the skills or knowledge to deal with the very new situation they find themselves in. 

We understand when the family is pushy, or distant, or emotional. 

We understand when the patient vacillates between motivation and despair. 

We don’t expect them to see the possibility of things improving even though we know it is there. It’s totally normal, we will help them through it.

This is what we signed up for, we are here for all of it. 

We hold the belief for them until they are able to see a way through themselves. 

It is one of the most important things we do for our patients. 

Sooooo….

What if the same is true for us? What if the hardship, the unforeseen circumstances, the fatigue and physical discomfort we experience at work also has the possibility of all turning out ok?

What if we can feel better at work even if the circumstances (like a diagnosis) aren't going to go away? Is it possible that this is true and we just don’t see it?

To take it one step further, do we not look for strategies to move through the hardship because we don’t believe that there is the possibility of a positive outcome?

Do we lack belief and therefore motivation to take action?

Maybe we do.

Maybe this is totally normal. Much like our patients we may have never anticipated the struggles that we are faced with. Maybe we weren’t ready for what the circumstances would demand of us because there was no way to properly train for it until we were in the situation ourselves. Maybe feeling uncertain and fearful is a normal part of the journey.

Maybe we are normal 😆

So, if this is normal AND if there is a possibility of a positive outcome, what do we do now?

First, we take some comfort in knowing that we aren’t fighting a pointless battle. We can find meaning, purpose and satisfaction in our work despite the hardships much like our patients do when learning how to heal. We can put a little crack in the wall of despair that is built when we lose hope. Once that crack is there, we can start trying things, trying to wedge the crack open further until we can see through to the other side. 

Do you know nurses that are thriving? Have you had mentors or role models along the way that are amazing at their job and seem to be able to take everything in stride?

They aren’t built differently; they have just wedged themselves through the disbelief and found ways to sit in the possibility of a good experience despite bad circumstances. 

Can you look at them in a new light, as a guidebook of things to try? How do they approach things? How do they act? What do they say?

Believing that things can be better, despite the necessary systemic changes being far off, believing that they can even be good is the first step. Once we believe that, we get unstuck; we can take the first faltering steps to recovery and from there to thriving. It might be messy, we might have some bad days or setbacks but we will be moving in the right direction.

It isn’t impossible. We have all known people along the way who have achieved this, we just didn’t know to look at them as such. We have evidence that it is possible to do the hard work of nursing and not to feel like it is at our own expense. Once we start to see this, we can see the point of taking action. Once we know we have a destination to get to, we can move forward. 

And a body in motion stays in motion. We gain momentum and we overcome the next inevitable obstacle that much faster. We immediately start looking for the cracks so we can get to the other side.

Again and again and again. 

I have been in the place of considering leaving a job I loved due to overwhelm and no foreseeable way of improving it. I am lucky that someone showed me how to believe in a possibility that I could not yet see and from there work toward making that possibility reality. It’s been a decade since then and I am still in the job, still loving it and still not burnt out. 

Your story can be the same.

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If you need some personalized help to learn how to get to this place yourself, please reach out at Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com.  I know firsthand the value of having a coach, having someone who has been in the same spot and learned the way through. The skills have changed my life and continue to help me overcome each new challenge I am faced with. Now I think back to that time with gratitude and not regret. I want you to have the same success. It’s totally possible 🙂