Digging out your crazy standards.
Did you know the average height of a super model is between 5’8” and 5’11’?
Did you know the average height of a woman in America is just under 5’4”?
And let’s not get into all the other measurements, let’s just stick with the one that is completely out of our control.
I think we can all agree that what is portrayed by the media as beauty is a crazy and often unattainable standard and yet subconsciously it affects so many people. It’s obviously a faulty standard to adopt.
But don’t worry, this is not a post about beauty, I just bring that up as a standard that people have made an intentional effort to cut out of their life, to question and discard. A standard that if pursued blindly can lead to unhappiness and often poor mental and physical health.
I realized the other day that I have equally crazy standards that I haven’t even questioned. Maybe I made them up myself, maybe they are my interpretation of things that happened when I was younger or as a result of my environment. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter. THEY ARE MAKING ME CRAZY.
Let me give you some context. I was part of a book discussion group last week with a group of coaches and we were talking about the book “The Illusion of Money.” (I highly recommend the book and it isn’t actually about money.) I said somewhat flippantly in that discussion that I felt a lot of
shame around debt because I was telling myself that good people don’t get into debt. Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous, but I promise you it FEELS true.
As fate would have it some of these amazing women entrepreneurs also carry some debt. I would never ever ever even dream of thinking they aren’t good people. They dedicate themselves and their work to helping other people in all walks of life. The disconnect between my subconscious belief and the actual reality of the situation was glaring (just like the difference between the height of the average woman and a supermodel).
I know this may sound crazy but it has been a life altering week. Just uncovering that crazy ass thought and the real life example of its fallacy has let me break free from it. This has allowed me to feel so much less stressed about money. No, I'm not going to go on a spending spree but I don’t need to make it mean anything about me at all.
It got me thinking.
What other beliefs and standards do I need to dig up and evaluate? Is there something that you feel ashamed of? Is there something that you are applying a false standard to and it is making you crazy?
It’s just a matter of awareness and choice. Dig that sucker out and throw it away.
You are perfect as you are.
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