2 words that can change your life

Working in healthcare, we know the impact that self-talk can have on outcomes. The patient who says “I can’t” or “my spine is the worst the surgeon has ever seen” struggles more than the patient who says “I will do whatever it takes.” 

To be clear, one patient is not better than the other, but the way we talk to or about ourselves can move us forward or keep us stuck. This is not a new concept. 

If this is true, why would we ever choose to talk in a self-limiting manner AND why would we let it slip into our personal narratives, day in and day out, in little ways that potentiate feeling bad?

It’s not because we are flawed or just naturally negative people. It goes back to survival instincts. Our brains are always searching for danger unless specifically reassured that we are currently safe.

The default is to look for what is wrong so we can protect ourselves.

Thanks, evolution.

There are many ways to approach this but we are busy so I am giving you the quick and easy way: awareness first (as always) and reassurance.

We need to become aware of our narrative (even if we are just thinking it and not speaking it aloud) and then reassure the brain that we are safe.

We need to stop perpetually, and unconsciously, activating our sympathetic nervous system; our fight, flight, freeze response. For many nurses, this part of us is constantly activated due to the circumstances of our work. This is why we need to do what we can to down-regulate in other ways. 

Are you ready for the life-changing strategy, the 2 words that can reset the nervous system and improve your own outcomes?

“It’s OK.”

Yup, I hope you’re not disappointed- it’s really that simple. Replace some of your current narrative, the one created by the evolutionary part of the brain that is constantly on the search for danger, with the 2 words “it’s ok”.

Don’t poo-poo it. We know how the use of certain language affects our patients; we are not unlike them, it is part of our shared humanity. 

Let me give you some examples from my life this week of times when my language was making me more miserable and keeping me from taking positive action. 

“I have so many dictations to do- I can’t do it all.” The rest of this narrative in my head was that I was going to get out so late, and I was so tired, and my day would be ruined. Yes, I naturally escalate things 🙂

• It’s ok

“My head is killing me.”...and it is making everything terrible (bad migraine week here in NJ with the weather fluctuations, confirmed by all my patients also suffering with headaches.)

• It’s ok

“I can’t get anything done around the house,”...and the holiday is next week, and I will be exhausted, and we are hosting.

• It’s ok.

“People drive like idiots”

• It’s ok.

Now I am not negating that some of these things are inherently stressful, like having a migraine, but my self-talk escalated things well beyond the stress they needed to cause. Once you tell yourself it’s ok, it changes the trajectory of the rest of the narrative and can soothe your soul (and even help you take positive action). This is much easier than trying NOT to have catastrophic thoughts in the first place, especially since that is an exercise in futility.

“I have so many dictations to do. It’s ok-I always get them done.”

“My head is killing me. It’s ok- I can take medication and rest when I get home. It will eventually get better.”

“I can’t get anything done around the house- It’s ok, AND this really just isn’t true. I can get some stuff done, and the rest can wait. The house is going to be full of people and food anyway.”

“People drive like idiots- It’s ok, that doesn’t truly affect me in any way”

And what about the stressful thoughts we have at work? Is fuming about things going to actually change anything? Usually not. 

“The patient shouldn’t be yelling at me when he overutilized his meds.”- It’s ok. Shame makes people defensive. This isn’t about me. 

“I shouldn’t have to keep telling the staff member how to do this right.” - It’s ok. This is just a hassle, not some terrible event. This is why they call it work. Maybe I need to explain it a different way. 

Changing our narrative changes our experience, and changing our experience is all we have

control over in the long run. We can’t change the way our patients or coworkers act, I’ve tried.

We show up happier and more empowered when we start with the premise that it’s ok. We can think things through and be less reactive when we are not starting from a physiological state of threat. 

It’s ok- you got this. 

***

And a big shout-out to my colleague Kim, who reminded me this week that I CAN do my dictations, even when there are a lot of them. 

Ready to change your narrative—and your life?

If this resonated with you, it’s because you already know: the way you speak to yourself shapes everything. Your stress levels. Your energy. Your confidence. Your ability to show up for your patients and yourself.

But you don’t have to navigate this alone.

If you’re ready to break the cycle of constant sympathetic activation…If you’re ready to replace “I can’t” with “It’s ok” and actually feel the difference…If you want practical, personalized strategies that fit your real-life healthcare schedule…

👉 Then it’s time for 1:1 coaching.

Together, we’ll uncover the narratives keeping you stuck, retrain your brain’s stress response, and build habits that support a calmer, more empowered you—at work and at home.

You deserve to feel grounded, capable, and in control.

It’s ok to ask for support.It’s ok to invest in yourself.It’s ok to start today.

➡️ Email me to set up a 1:1 consultation to explore next steps Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com

Your nervous system—and your future self—will thank you.