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  • Writer's pictureMegan Filoramo

Are you a 4 year old soccer player?

Have you ever watched 4 year olds play soccer? They all have their shirts that are way too big and they run in a pack after the ball, tripping over each other and getting nowhere in their excitement. It’s adorable…for about 10 minutes. After that you start wishing at least one of them would break away so the ball could be passed to someone, you watch to see who is going to start crying, or pushing or lose interest first.

And then you get to do the same thing for the next 16 Saturday mornings.

Next the 4 year olds somehow turn into 4th graders and now they are studying for math tests…or so you wish. The test is only days away but there is always some reason why they can’t open the book. Test day comes and with it a less than stellar grade. They are shocked that somehow they didn’t do well. It makes no sense!

We watch these events with the wisdom of experience. Soccer works better with a strategy. Imagine if they made it to high school and were still playing with the approach of everyone just following the ball around the field, if no one played an actual position? It would be torture.

We look at the 4th grader and say, “what did you expect? You spent all your time doing other things, why would you get the grade you wanted on your test?” We learn that if we want to achieve academically then we need to put in some time learning the material


We do the same exact thing (yup, sorry, it’s true).

Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the fact that if we have goals that we want to achieve, goals like winning a soccer game or doing well on a test, then we have to have a strategy. We have to put in the time. We can’t just fly by the seat of our pants and expect results.

When is the last time you spent any time thinking about the strategy of your life? Not just the strategy of getting a promotion or a raise but the strategy of your LIFE?

Let me break it down to 2 questions.

  1. What do you want?

  2. What are you doing to get it?

We say things like “I am so busy” or “I have so much to do” and after a while not only are we not working toward what we want, we aren’t even sure what that is.

So I ask you again.

1. What do you want?

2. What are you doing to get it?

Here’s the thing. Either decide or it will be decided for you. There are plenty of people who will willingly fill up your time if you let them. The fancy way of saying it nowadays is “living with intention.” Translated: pick a strategy for your life and go for it.

Most of us don’t even realize we are living by default, running around the field with a bunch of other people doing the same thing. But yet we acutely feel the frustration of running without making the goal.

Of course the fix is super easy. Spend a few minutes and DEVELOP A STRATEGY.

The best news is, you can’t do it wrong. Really. I will say it again so you make sure to hear it. YOU CAN’T DO IT WRONG. It’s your goal and your approach.

The hardest part is actually identifying what the things are that you want, especially if you haven’t really thought about this in a long time. So spend some time with that thought and come up with something that stirs some excitement in your soul.

After you decide what you want, decide what you are willing to do to get it. It doesn’t work to take the 4th grade approach of wanting a 100% on a test but then not studying.

If we set a goal but do nothing to achieve it, we shouldn’t be shocked or upset when it doesn’t happen. Even if you set a time to study but pick the wrong things to review, you are still getting closer to your goal. You have taken the step of planning and executing, a step toward being the person who gets what she wants.

Next step, tweak the strategy and try again until you achieve success.

Of course we don’t want to just stop there.


Maybe you start with the goal of getting out of work on time or walking one mile a day, making a strategy and trying things. As you build that planning muscle you will build momentum and realize “hey, this planning and strategizing thing really works.” Build the belief that you can not only have goals, but you can sure as hell achieve them.

Then, you will truly be unstoppable.

Watch out, beach house, you’re next on the list.


Need some help figuring out what you want and how to get it? I can help you :) Just schedule a call right here.

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