When It’s All Too Much: The Question We Forget to Ask Ourselves

Sometimes it feels like everything is happening at once and it is all too much to bear.

I had a patient this morning who suffers with pain from multiple generators. Most recently she has developed severe foot pain related to fractured screw from a previous foot surgery. This of course has altered her gait and has set off a chain of events. Her SI joints are flared (both are fused), her back is terrible. But this isn’t all, she has a GI issue that causes daily vomiting which in turn sets off her thoracic myofascial pain from a previous fusion.

And her close friend’s son died by suicide last week. 

Needless to say, she is really suffering, emotionally and physically.

Unfortunately, her story is not unique. These are the types of patients I see, those who have experienced tremendous physical and emotional hardship. I am sure you see these patients too. 

As she finished sharing her story with me and before we got into what medical strategies we could try to mitigate her pain I asked her, “That is a lot to go through. What are you doing to try to take care of yourself during this time?”

The question made her pause before responding. 

“I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

It’s a pattern I’ve noticed more and more as I continue to work not only in pain management but with nurses struggling to juggle their personal lives, the systemic obstacles at their work, their dedication to nursing, and their own health issues. 

What are we doing to take care of ourselves? What are we doing to try and care for the person who is dealing with all these legitimate stressors? How are we offering them little moments of reprise, small acts of kindness that can decrease their burden, opportunities to take a few deep breaths and release some of the tension?

Maybe, like my patient, you “hadn’t thought about it like that.”

Have you ever told a patient to pause for a minute and take a few deep breaths?

Have you ever told yourself the same?

It’s important to bring awareness to this as most nurses have a very “other-focused” approach (which is ok- it’s why we are good at what we do). We are always looking for the nuances of what other people need to heal and thrive. We support their emotional health while caring for their physical health. Because of this natural proclivity toward caring for others, we have trained our focus outward. It doesn’t even occur to us that we could benefit from the same attention. 

So I’m here to tell you, you could benefit from some attention from the amazing nurse that you are. You would benefit from brainstorming some ways to care for yourself WHILE dealing with your stressors. You too could benefit from some deep breaths, some self-encouragement and belief that you can get through this, and maybe blasting your favorite feel-good music on your way home from work.

Or maybe you want to sit in silence on the way home and order some chicken soup for dinner.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed today, or this year, I challenge you to ask yourself, “what is something I can do to take care of myself today?”

Let me know what you come up with.

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If you feel like you can't manage it alone, or your attempts so far have not worked out, please reach out at Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com . We can explore how working together can help you heal and keep going. It doesn't have to stay as hard as it is.