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  • Writer's pictureMegan Filoramo

It can't get better

Do you find yourself thinking “work can’t get better?”

And maybe not just thinking it but truly believing it in your gut? After all, there are a lot of really tough things that go on at work and there doesn’t seem to be any indication that things are going to change anytime soon.

It’s pretty discouraging.

I know because I have been in that exact situation.

It was a number of years ago now, (which just goes to show that this stuff can work) and I was really struggling with 1 coworker. She was making me miserable.

Yup, 1 coworker was literally putting me over the edge, so much so that I was actually considering leaving a job that I had invested years of time and energy into, a job that I had always thought I would stay in until I retired.

Needless to say, I was really really distraught about this.

Can you relate?

Is there one thing at work that is putting you over the edge? One thing that would make work so much better if it would just change?

….but you know it’s not going to change. So what now?

I would like to suggest that you aren’t doomed, that there is actually a solution, and I know this from personal experience.

I knew that I couldn’t change the situation. I also knew that she wasn’t actually making me miserable but that I was making myself miserable with the way I was thinking about her, by ruminating about her behavior.

And so I looked for ways to change my experience of her, my perceptions of her, and my reactions to her. I wasn’t sure it would work (ok, full disclosure, I was grasping at straws) but I needed to do something because I couldn’t keep going the way I was.

And I didn’t want to be the one to leave.

So I did some research, I read books and listened to podcasts, I got a coach, I did the self-reflection work.

I tried thinking new things about her and new things about my ability to thrive despite my current situation.

And it worked. I started to feel less overwhelmed, less triggered and even happier at work again.

Are you ready for the best part?

Once I saw success in this one area, I started applying it to all the other things.

It was literally life changing to believe that it could get better, that I could make it better.

I was the textbook example of adversarial growth: the process of positive changes in perception of self, philosophy of life, relationships with others and meaning-making that occurs during or after a crisis or trauma (

And for all of you working in healthcare, you know that calling this a crisis is not overkill. I was literally questioning my ability to continue being an NP in a practice I previously loved. It felt terrible.

So I challenge you today. Instead of saying nothing is changing, this can’t get better, I challenge you to ask yourself

But what if it could? What if this could get better?

Place a little wedge of doubt in the unchangeable nature of the crisis you are experiencing right now.

Because where that wedge is placed, a little hope can grow.

Hope can lead to action, and action can lead to not just relief, but satisfaction.

If you are ready to make changes in your life, reach out and schedule a call with me. Your happiness is worth it.

Until next time,

Be Brilliant, Be Kind,


photo credit: "Purple Crack Flower" by Laurel Fan is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

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