Do you know what the problem behind the problem is? The problem BEHIND the problem is that we don’t believe we can feel better at work, or at home, or in life, if something in our situation doesn’t change…and it doesn’t look like anything is changing.
Why is belief important? Because you are always believing something.
“Not believing” is really belief that something ISN’T possible.
So? What happens when you don’t believe?
You experience
-powerlessness
-overwhelm
-apathy
-defeat
-futility.
Not believing allows the experiences above to flourish. Is this what you want flourishing in your life?
Of course not. You probably aren’t even aware that these things stem from a lack of belief. The lack of belief is hidden under the facts of the situations that we are in: expectations of management, coworkers, or friends, our salaries, our workload, our personal health needs, the demands of patients, the family obligations, our personal relationships. Since this is where we experience our struggles, it is reasonable to think that they are responsible for how we feel.
Thankfully, this isn’t actually true. In all of these circumstances, we get to choose what to believe, it just takes some reflection and conscious effort.
I used to believe that things had to be fair for me to have a positive experience at work. This isn’t true.
I used to believe that I couldn’t ever run. I even found supporting facts. I had never run races. I had an old back injury from a sledding accident in college (story for a different day). Any time I tried to run I kind of wanted to die.
And then my dad decided he wanted to run a ½ marathon for his 70th birthday. My FOMO overcame my lack of belief.
Here’s where the beauty happens.
First, I had to decide that there could be a possibility that my belief that it wasn’t possible, that I was physically incapable, could be wrong.
Without this step, I would have been stuck in inaction. I would have missed out.
Then I had to borrow some belief from my dad. If he thought it was possible, then I would rely on that.
I had to accept that sometimes things feel worse before better. There is, in fact, pain with running.
If you have ever cut sugar out of your diet, you know what I mean. Ultimately, you have a lot more sustainable energy and better sleep but those first few weeks you feel like garbage.
What can this look like at work? It may be the discomfort of biting your tongue when you find yourself wanting to point out all the things that are going wrong. This can be very uncomfortable. But the more you work through that discomfort, the more you believe that just this one thing can profoundly change your experience, the easier you will find it to focus on the things that bring you joy and satisfaction at work: the difference you are making in people’s lives, the financial stability you are providing for your family, the suffering in the world that you are decreasing. One doesn’t have to be gone for the other to be true.
As you try things to feel better, as you borrow belief (you can share mine), you will start to gain evidence that this works, and that evidence will build your belief further.
The first time I ran 12 miles in a practice run, I almost cried for joy (and because my feet were almost totally numb). I couldn’t believe it when my tracker hit 12 miles. The moment that your belief is justified is truly magical.
There are lots of strategies to decrease burnout and stress. You may know all of them. But if you find yourself struggling to take ANY action, if you find yourself thinking that it won’t work for you, it’s totally fine.
Nothing is wrong with you. You just haven’t built the belief yet that it is possible.
-You don’t have to have 100% belief before you start, you just have to entertain that change may be possible.
-You can borrow belief from other people.
-You can see what happens if you sustain disbelief and entertain even a small possibility of an alternative experience.
-You can develop belief as you go, understanding that sometimes positive results are delayed, that sometimes things may feel worse before better.
I know this is true. I know that if we aren’t intentional in directing our beliefs, our default beliefs will limit us to staying where we are now.
I had to develop the belief that things could be better at work as I tried new approaches. This belief allowed me to get unstuck and take action toward the experience that I wanted to have in the situation I was already in. I gained belief and a better experience at work and at home.
And we successfully completed the Philly Half-Marathon.
If you struggle with believing this can be true for you, that your experience can drastically change even if your situation does not, please please please reach out. I am holding the belief for you because I have a lot of evidence now that this is possible. You don’t have to do it alone, Schedule a time here to see how.
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