Back-to-School for the Soul: Learning to Support Yourself

For many, September is a big season of transition. The weather is changing (at least here in the Northeast) and a new school year is starting. Even if we aren’t going back to school ourselves, our bodies don’t forget the years we were in school; we still hold an association between September and a time of anticipation of change, of starting over, of new things.

Because of this, it can be a time to take stock, get organized, and decide what we want this next school year to look like. We can take advantage of our years of training in September bringing change. 

We can consider it a nice, calmer, self-loving New Year’s. It is January without the cold weather, the fatigue of coming off the holidays, and all the “shoulds”. I should get in shape. I should get better at my finances. I should be more patient with my kids. I should drink less. I should start that book, or learn that skill, or eat more protein.

Those are the shoulds that we don’t need to get into right now. We are entering the pumpkin latte season, not the should-on-yourself season.

This struck me as I find myself with a somewhat open weekend and a desire to do something for myself, something that I want.  

And I find myself in a puzzling situation. I can do anything I want to this weekend (not just what I should do) and I have no idea what that is. 

Maybe you can relate.

We are good at knowing what needs to be done at home, at work, in our families.

We are good at knowing what our loved ones want.

We are good at knowing what is good for everyone else.

It’s when we try to figure out what is good and supportive for us that we come up empty. We have gotten so good at doing and being that we have concurrently gotten good at dismissing ourselves. 

Now before you get too upset, it doesn’t need to be an either/or situation. I like knowing what needs to be done. I like being the person who can help support others. I am proud of that part of me, and you can be too. We are already getting an A+ in that. We don’t have to give that up in order to start discovering ways to support ourselves in the meantime. This is the 2.0 work of nursing, learning how to care for others AND yourself, both in a loving and compassionate way. 

So, what does this have to do with September?

What if we could pick one thing that we would love to build a habit around and could anticipate it the same way we used to anticipate picking out a new Trapper Keeper and rainbow folders? What if we could carefully write our names on a new year of experience and learning how to become the version of ourselves that we don’t dismiss? What if we were totally fine with it taking until June to really nail it down?

If there was one thing that you would love to do for yourself this year, what would it be? Stop and write it down on whatever you have nearby. Make sure it isn't a should disguised as a want. It can be spending time with friends, getting a good night sleep, spending time on a hobby, or listening to music that YOU like.

If you were only going to pick the very first step for this, what would it be? 

Could you do that for yourself this week? 

Could you pick one time to try it? Maybe it’s just a once-a-week event at the beginning, like Art Class. Maybe as you succeed at that, it progresses into a 3 times a week “class” and then maybe daily (like Math, but more fun). 

Maybe we can remember that things don’t have to be done perfectly from the outset in order to make progress. Gasp!

I invite you to start this September reflecting on how to acknowledge yourself, to support yourself and yes, even treat yourself with compassion AND respect. 

I know you have those skills, just like I do. Let’s start using them on ourselves.

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Sometimes we are too worn down to even take on small changes without support. If this is where you find yourself, you are not alone. I have worked with many people who have been there, and it is much more common than you would think. Please reach out and we can schedule a time to explore your personal situation and how coaching could help. It's ok to not do it alone.

I look forward to connecting with you Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com