Your Brain Is Looking. What Are You Asking It to Find?

I think we all like to think of ourselves as grateful. (Or at least, we certainly don’t want to be labeled as ungrateful.)

If I asked you, “Quick, name ten things you are grateful for,” you could probably do it without thinking too much. Your list might include your health, your family, the health of your family, having a roof over your head, your dog, your job, your friends, etc.

Even if one of these things fails, the others usually still make it onto the routine “gratitude list.”

But what if I told you that you couldn’t use your top ten? What if the rules changed and you had to list 10 things from today?

Not just big, major things. The small things. The ordinary things. The things that you might normally overlook.

Here is my list for today.

1. Coffee (obviously). Especially that first sip when it is super hot and right out of the pot. If it is flavored, I feel like it gets an extra spot on the list, but I will stick with my self-imposed rules.

2. My computer being charged. This means I can write this from my comfy chair and not at my desk.

3. Gel pens. Come on, who doesn’t love a good gel pen? Especially a brand-new Pentel EnerGel blue pen, 0.7mm. (Nope, no affiliate link.)

4. Being a morning person. It’s so great to be up before everyone else, sitting in the quiet, with my coffee and my gel pen.

5. I have off from work today. No description needed.

6. Bird feeders. At the risk of sounding like an old lady, I love watching all the birds come to the window. Right now there is a bright red cardinal and two house wrens. (Yup, I now know what a house wren looks like thanks to my friend Google.) And side note: I look forward to being an old lady. May I be so lucky.

7. Coaching. I have a call with my coach today. I always go in feeling underprepared and come out feeling motivated and in control.

8. Chinese food leftovers. We almost never get Chinese food, but my daughter picked it for dinner last night, so hooray for lunchtime leftovers!

9. A quiet morning. There is something about having a little time before the day gets going that makes me feel like I have already accomplished something.

10. Following through with writing my blog. I love accomplishing things AND connecting with people.

So this is my list for today.

Admittedly, the first three came super easy. Then I had to think for a minute. I was tempted to still try and put the health of my family on the list.

But that wasn't the point. And that is exactly why I make the rules this way.

Why the small things? Because it makes your brain look for them.

Our brains are very good at noticing problems, threats, frustrations, and everything that needs our attention. It makes sense. We need our brains to keep us safe and help us solve problems.

But we can also intentionally practice noticing what is going well.

Gratitude isn't just about appreciating what you have. It's about training yourself to notice what's good while you're actually living your day. 

When you have to find 10 things from today, something changes. You have to pay attention.

You have to look.

And suddenly, your brain starts collecting little moments that it might otherwise have ignored.

It’s easy at the end of a tough day to feel like your day was horrible, overwhelming, or that you had no time for yourself.

Let’s face it, at least 50% of life is not rainbows and daisies.

But we don’t have to pretend that a bad day is a good day. We can simply give our brains a little more information.

Maybe your day was stressful, but your coffee was really good.

Maybe you were exhausted, but someone made you laugh.

Maybe you had a difficult conversation, but you are proud of yourself for having it.

Maybe you didn't get everything done, but you finished one thing that had been hanging over your head.

Those things don't erase the hard stuff, they just keep the hard stuff from becoming the only thing you see.

And that matters.

Try this.

Just once.

Pause for a minute and make a mental list of 10 things you are grateful for today.

You do have time. You were just reading this post.

Then, if you really want to see what happens, try it every night for one week.

Put a piece of paper by your bed or somewhere that it will be obvious, and write down 10 things every night.

No repeats. This is the training part.

Your brain will start to realize that it is going to be asked to do this every night. And when it knows it has to come up with 10 new things, it will start looking for the information ahead of time.

That’s what brains do.

You might notice the sunset. 

The smell of your shampoo. 

A really good parking spot.

You might notice a song you haven't heard in years, someone holding the door for you or your dog putting its head on your lap.

A comfortable pair of shoes. 

A text from someone you love. 

The first sip of coffee.

You get the idea.

And, of course, if you want to buy a fancy notebook and a gel pen to do this, I totally support this. Fancy notebooks might make it onto tomorrow's list.

When you practice this regularly, you start creating an association between these little things and something positive.

Pick up that gel pen and your brain remembers that you've used it to write down things that made you feel good.

See the bird feeder and you notice the cardinal.

Sit down with your coffee and you actually notice the coffee instead of immediately reaching for your phone.

The point isn't to force yourself to be positive. The point is to sharpen your awareness.

Because when you're having a really bad day, you can use that awareness to find a few small pockets of good.

Take one minute and make a list in your phone. You can do it while waiting on hold or heating up your coffee. It doesn't take long.

Working in the hospital and no time for a break, even to pee? Keep a running list on your assignment sheet in the margins.

Going from meeting to meeting all day? Put three things in your phone before you get home.

Having one of those days where absolutely nothing seems to be going right?

Stop.

Look around.

Find one thing.

Then another.

Then another.

You don't have to change your circumstances to change where you put your attention, you just have to start noticing.

So flex your gratitude muscle. Sharpen your awareness. Train your brain to look for the little things.

You might be surprised by how many were there all along.

Tonight, find 10 things. No repeats. They don't have to be important. They just have to be real.

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Want to bring this conversation to your team?

As nurses and nurse leaders, we are really good at finding the problems. It’s part of the job. We notice the abnormal vital sign, the staffing issue, the unanswered call light, the thing that needs to be fixed.

But what if we also trained ourselves to notice what’s going right?

My workshops are practical, conversational, and designed for real nurses living real, busy lives. We talk about simple strategies that can help nurses and managers build resilience, improve wellbeing, and feel a little more in control—without adding another overwhelming task to their to-do list.

Interested in bringing this conversation to your nurses or leadership team? I’d love to talk. Megan@NursingBeyondtheJob.com