When Your Mind Won't Slow Down: Encouraging the Heart

Do you ever crave calmness, but your brain is on overdrive?

You tell yourself, I'm going to relax and recover from the day. Then, the moment you finally sit down, the floodgates open and your own thoughts threaten to drown you.

It's no wonder it's so tempting to reach for your phone. The constant stimulation distracts us from ourselves.

But scrolling isn't recovery. Distraction isn't mindfulness.

I know the benefits of mindfulness. It's an evidence-based approach to managing stress and building resilience. And yet, sometimes my brain simply won't cooperate. It's almost as if I'm just not good at relaxing.

Maybe you can relate.

But here's what I've been learning: mindfulness isn't the same as relaxation, and it isn't always meditation. It isn't necessarily a passive experience. Sometimes mindfulness is intentionally choosing where to place our attention.

As fate would have it, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

This week I was listening to an interview with Joseph Goldstein, a renowned mindfulness and meditation teacher. He was talking about this exact struggle—trying to be mindful but feeling like you're "not getting anywhere."

His suggestion was a beautiful one, and one that I think resonates deeply with those of us in healthcare.

He recommended reflecting on our sila—the Buddhist principle of ethical conduct.

When I first heard this, I immediately assumed he meant thinking about everything I'd done wrong. I was mentally transported back to the principal's office, being told to "think about what you've done."

Thankfully, he meant the opposite.

He was encouraging us to gather evidence of the good we do—to acknowledge the moments that are wholesome, skillful, and beneficial.

To encourage the heart.

When life feels hard, I could use a little encouragement. How about you?

So what does this have to do with mindfulness?

One of the core components of mindfulness is becoming aware of what we're thinking about.

Yes, you read that correctly: thinking about what we're thinking about.

When my mind is racing and I can't seem to magically create calm, I can still choose where I place my attention. I can intentionally direct my thoughts toward the ways I've shown up with integrity, compassion, and skill.

I can decide what to think about.

For those of us in healthcare, we don't have to look very far to find evidence of wholesome, skillful, and beneficial work, of sila.

If you want to encourage your heart today, take a moment to list the skillful, beneficial, and ethically grounded things you did today... yesterday... over the last year... or throughout your career.

How many days have you spent making the world just a little bit better?

Perhaps the quickest way to encourage your heart isn't to think less—but to remember more.

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Before you move on to the next task, pause for just a minute. Write down three ways you showed up with integrity, compassion, or skill today. Notice what happens when you intentionally encourage your heart.